They are the type of women we have all wanted to be like at some point. In popular lit, I think Hermione from Harry Potter is a STELLAR example of an introverted type- I mean, she’s always in the library! I’ve had the whole office sit in a meeting one day and analyze my personality making jokes about not being able to socialize. and my wicked sense of humour! My dad was one of those men who retreated to his room when the house filled up with family and it was just a matter of fact. . Psychology today has a good blog, called Introvert’s Corner. We are typically more inhibited, less talkative and less skilled at faking enthusiasm than extroverted women. Smirking: Ug. Western culture prizes girls who have an easy breezy, smile-at-strangers and giggle-at-everything sort of demeanor. I am becoming happier just to have a few good friends in my life and am becoming more selective in who I spend time with. Plus, how to tell where you fall on the spectrum. The whole blonde obsession of the 1970s was awful. Terms of Service, 12 Things You Need To Know About Dating An Introverted Woman, What’s Your Hottest Quality? After numerous marriages and live-in boyfriends, I finally admitted to feeling trapped and irritable having another human living in my space–thus no kids and no more husbands. Here I am now, solo, middle-aged and having to recover and rely on the introvert’s natural superpowers to be alone even when I want companionship. That doesn’t mean her mind is empty — she’s more likely to gather her thoughts and reflect on her surroundings quietly until you ask her to share what she’s thinking. I stay home every weekend and drink by myself. She needs her down time. Every Cosmo article I read pushes the idea that women constantly want to talk more than their male partners, when it has never been true for me or a lot of my friends. They bring peace into my life. Sure, I was green with envy. I have been in that situation so many times it’s unbelievable, and it takes me about a full day to recharge. In the society I live in being introvert is looked upon as dumb or snobbish and I have been called both at some point. Oh well too late now. Here's how to gain control of your, Introverts crave meaningful connections, but that's not always easy over Zoom. I don’t watch the Bachelor and Real Housewives. Buh bye. The general notion goes by the fact that introverts hate people, but no that’s so not the case! Don’t think you’re an introvert or extrovert? If you’re an extrovert, it can be hard to understand why introverts act the way they do. Some of Jane Austen’s characters. Its lovely to read these and learn that I am just a different type of normal. I am a female introvert, always have been, but have also balanced out with fairly regular social interaction. I actually find solace in spending time with my Persian cat. One of the positives from this has been my developing contempt for narrowminded exclusion and sheer paranoia towards anything and anyobe different. Too much drama. Just because she’s an introvert doesn’t mean she’s antisocial. I’m wondering how many other introverts out there also love having their homes to themselves, and are repelled by the mere thought of someone moving in. And, this s why i think certain mental “illnesses” can be created by society to some extent. Meeting and mingling with new people can be a cause for anxiety in an introvert’s life. Many people wrongly envision female introverts as pasty white spinster types who own at least three cats. People often refer to introversion as if it were some sort of illness. Ah yes, the classic introvert-introvert stand off where no one is willing to make the first move. I guess I am what people refer to as a private extrovert and public introvert. Apparently now, there is a new “female” version, where having just problems not feeling nervous and overwhelmed in a group/ being sociable for a long time, means you have Aspergers now. I hope that’s all right! They hint at things, and go through the dating/mating process in a very passive-aggressive way. Here's how to expre, It can be difficult for introverts to make new friends, especially in a pandemic. Introverts tend to observe, take in a lot of information, and think before they speak. Unless you’re in Finland or East Asia, introverted females are largely undervalued. Spending too much time with people can actually make her physically tired. 🙂. I don’t make apologies for “alone time” anymore. Here's how introverts can make REAL friends online. Sometimes I hate being an introvert, but honestly, I think it sets me apart. here i have got something for you all I have however been struggling to be my self without bowing to the demands of my surroundings. I would love to see a book on this topic. In our culture, it is implied that talkative, extroverted females are the norm, while quiet women mostly belong in monasteries and silent films. But her mom is definitely an extrovert. – like peer pressure and getting openly criticised or needing to stay home a lot as opposed to going out in a group every weekend (interestingly, it was a “try-hard-to-be-extroverted-introvert” who applied such pressure). But there is also an in-between, what we call a social introvert. I embrace authenticity and calm environments. It is to see how those extroverts and talkative people become nervous when they have to speak in a more official manner or in front of the crowd while me, an introvert, i can do it well. Being introverted, female, and black has not been necessarily a difficult experience, but it has made for some very interesting exchanges and interactions over the years. The formal categorisation of introverts and extroverts was done way back in the 1960s by a psychologist named Carl Jung.According to him, the two could be … Animals are my salvation. Thanks for sharing your experience, Laura! I can relate to the green-eyed monster and the extroverted women. Must be a bunch of us like this out there. I’ve read most of it. I have to admit that extroverts, at the beginning, are just good at grabbing attention. Too much socializing can be draining for introverts, which is why they need an escape route for when the people around them become too much to handle. We are definitely different than extroverted women because we do not fit “societal norms” of what a woman is supposed to be like. And wondering what in the world happened and why I don’t matter in anyone’s life enough to be worthy of more than a peripheral meeting in their busy schedule. Lately, there seem to be more introverted females on the silver screen. When it comes to an introverted woman, it’s just better if you make the first move. But, in the 1970s with the Brady girls’ “hair of gold”, Farrah Fawcett on Charlie’s Angels & the 1980s with Pam Anderson on Baywatch, blonde was everything it seemed. The Introvert Entrepreneur website also has some insightful blog posts 🙂. 'When people expect a sassy, bold, dramatic, and highly communicative bearing, Black introverted women can leave the impression of being aloof, nonchalant, and unfriendly. I think not. I hate the idea of someone trying to shape my nature to fit their ideal of what society believes I should be. Yes, yes, yes, all of this! Although a quick google search will deem an introverted individual to be “a shy, reticent person”, there is much more to it than that. If the girl needs to curl up with coffee, a good book, or even just a Netflix, let her. 🙂. Coupled with my introversion, were my Highly Sensitive personality traits. ), but the thought of matching up with him socially makes me so anxiety-riddled, I think I may have to nix it. Believe me, I know the feeling. Forever young, bubbly, colourful, and eternally talking, radiant, always ready, willing and able to do anything, and anywhere.” They seemed easy for the men, not just sexually, but easy to handle, no need for guessing what they are thinking and feeling, no need to work to really dig deep and get to know you. **eyeroll** She was great at pointing out others’ mistakes while justifying hers as having good motivation. To be honest, there have been times when I used to try and be hilarious and goofy, just for the sake of it. The introverted female is a species all her own. Maybe because I read/watch a fair amount of genre stuff, I think I get to see more of the introverted female role models… I’d describe Xena (the warrior princess) as an introvert who likes to spend quiet time alone – Willow and Fred from the Buffy/Angel franchise too. I’m not sure where she would fit in the I-E spectrum but what about Laura Ingalls, her mother and sister too of Little House On the Prairie? 1. The world is an introvert’s wonderland with possibilities everywhere. I strived to be more like them, and in some ways, I succeeded. Actually, if you think about it, there definitely are introverted heroines in literature, if not in popular media. Many introverts are highly self-critical. I had extroverted friends and back then, trying to keep up with them was a full time job. This statement is something I relate to: “While other women delight in constant chitchat and colorful banter, we silently wonder if we’re missing a crucial femininity chip.”, Yes, these other women who advertise in one form or another are “hot,” and “stand out.”. BUT no, that’s considered too dominant and aggressive. It wasn’t until I found out I was really an introvert, that my soul seemed to find peace. Introversion indicates one end of the scale, while extroversion represents the other end. I notice that introverts and extroverts pair up because the extrovert is good at initiating the interactions, dates, etc. Here are some introvert friendly tips. eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'introvertspring_com-banner-1','ezslot_3',138,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'introvertspring_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',138,'0','1'])); It’s hard to imagine that Hepburn’s true personality was so different from the extroverted characters she played. These women are the epitome of bubbly, extroverted charm. Just being with you is all she needs. Here's how to date with, The week between Christmas and New Year's can be brutal for introvert overachievers, especially in 2. My man-friend relationships last longer when each of us lives separately. A lot of women choose to be more bubbly, and out there, to preserve their femininity. She is a great example of how quiet can be powerful and sexy. It’s about really knowing a few people she can actually trust rather than having a long list of “friends” that she can’t really count on. Beta women are big thinkers and are content being on the sidelines rather than in the spotlight. She just prefers internal conversations to external ones. It’s refreshing to see  a movie that portrays an introverted woman in a positive light. Marcia’s character on The Brady Bunch wasn’t like that as I recall it (drama) but she definitely wasn’t studious like Jan. After being called everything from ‘weird’, ‘complex’, ‘moody’, ‘arrogant’ and ‘shy’, to ‘nervous’, in junior high and bombarded with highly intrusive questions and hurtful and ludicrous statements like ‘why are so quiet?’, ‘why are you so gloomy?’, ‘why are you so serious?’, ‘it’s good to have friends’, ‘smile and the world smiles with you’, ‘you should come out of your shell’, ‘we are all here for you’ etc., I developed this reputation among a couple of my highly extroverted classmates in college (some of whom actually became my close friends), for being crazy (in a hilarious way) and a ‘goofball’. Damn those societal norms! This side of me would surface only for a select few. 🙂, I’m very happy, having read your post. Introverted women vs. introverted men I can completely understand what you mean about being moody after too much socializing. Your voice will always be heard. Your email address will not be published. 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