“The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. You can practice responsibility every day by thinking about your actions and responses and taking accountability for the consequences of your choices - good or bad. Your thoughts govern the success of your interpersonal interactions. The reference of entering the world in infancy is a critical analogy to … What situations are most likely to result in you running from your responsibilities? Said Nightingale, “The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts." It might help if you start writing things down. Don’t rely on adults to remind you when you’re supposed to be somewhere or what you’re supposed to bring. Taking action is pivotal in embracing your responsibilities to life. But these times should be few and far between and the reasons for them must be genuine and important. If not, and you’re an actual human being(! I like “Political action means taking on responsibility. Nor does it mean that you shouldnt involve others. Sure, other people and factors have an influence, but you are responsible for your own actions and anything that happens within the boundaries of your control. When you take responsibility for your actions you are saying “I am the one who’s in charge of my life.” Take care of your own matters. By acknowledging what you’re doing and how you’re behaving, you can start to shape your life for the better. A responsible person makes mistakes, but when they do, they take responsibility … Friends and family members tend to give a lot more slack than work associates do, but that doesn’t mean they’ll let you coast along forever. We often know when we’re pushing the blame onto someone else and it can leave us feeling pretty guilty and drained. Moments when we can take one path or another. Part of this is knowing when not to make firm commitments or promises that you know you will not be able to keep. “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality." It is a mindset that you create and strengthen through repeated execution. Rather than looking around for someone or something else to blame, you must accept that you are in charge of what is going on. So it’s not all doom and gloom. By getting into better habits, you’ll form a better mindset. Positive thinking becomes a helpful habit. Sure, your life may suck in some ways, but if all you ever do is talk about how much it sucks, nothing much is going to change. Power is to serve responsibility… Everyone must take responsibility for their own actions, you must try to make it right, especially if you hurt someone by taking no responsibility. You matter. Every problem can be explained away with reasons why they can’t affect the situation or the outcome, especially at work where it is easy to find excuses because people are so closely intertwined—and every project has a chain of internal customers who are dependant on others in the chain. Just accept that you’re human and you’re never going to be ‘perfect’ in your own eyes. There’s lots to do. Constructive feedback from others can feel like a slap in the face, however well-intentioned it may be. Stop Blaming Others. For one, it gets boring very quickly! Husbands, buy this as a gift for your wife so that they know you better. Let’s discuss the first one, accepting personal responsibility – which is taking ownership of your own behavior and the consequences of that behavior. Of course there are things that are out of your control, but there is a lot that is within your control too. They are able to make choices because they understand that they are responsible for their choices. They want to work with someone who is aware of their limitations as well as their strengths and who isn’t afraid to respond to others’ opinions and change things up if needed. Answer for your own actions. But it is important to recognize that you make the choice one way or another. Your thoughts are always with you. Don’t make excuses or blame others for what you do. Stop blaming other people. But without taking responsibility, you're all the more likely to look at your career as a failure because you allowed any passing wind to blow you around, all the while blaming the wind for how things turned out. Stepping up and taking responsibility for what’s going on in your life is one of the most important things you will ever do – and one of the best. No one can live your life for you. It’s unfair on the other person you’re blaming things on, and it’s also unfair on you. Every action you take affects organizational progress in one way or in another. Kids have a natural tendency to want to avoid taking responsibility for the actions they've taken. Taking ownership and responsibility for your actions is an important part of healthy relationships. By taking your share, you’ll inspire others to hold themselves accountable for the issues too. By being responsible, you’re showing that you have respect for yourself and others. Be a realist and only say that you’ll do something if you really want to or intend to do it. Do you need to apologize for not doing something? Put yourself in their place, if they did that to … You no longer dwell on what went wrong or focus on whom you are going to blame. You choose the path of productivity and contribution or, you choose the path of a marginal employee. This builds long-lasting trust and sets you up for prolonged leadership success. Much like blaming other people, making excuses allows you to shirk responsibility for how a situation has turned out. You might accidentally blame something on a loved one because you’re so used to pushing away responsibility. Don’t wallow. Making excuses instead of taking one hundred percent responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, and your goals are the hallmark of people who fail to succeed both in their professional lives and personal lives. Identifying bad choices you have made is not an easy thing to do. Acknowledging your actions can also mean giving yourself the respect you deserve. This is the foundational principle you must embrace if you plan for happiness and success in your life and work. The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. Want 5 Tips to Increase Your Productivity at Work? You Can Increase Your Job Satisfaction and Combat Weary Feelings, Experience Job Interview Questions and Tips on How to Best Respond, Learn How to Create a Personal Vision Statement To Guide Your Life, who take complete responsibility for their lives, for a new job to continue to pursue your dream, Listen to yourself when you speak. Taking action is a crucial part of taking responsibility for situations. © Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Essentially, this means acknowledging the role you play in your own life – the good bits and the bad bits. Even people who adore you will get bored of you constantly blaming others for things that are within your control. By seeing these ideas written down, you’ll realize in your own safe space that you’ve got room to grow. When you own what’s happening in your life, you can really start to shape your future. Taking responsibility is not a onetime action. Take responsibility for your own actions We are responsible for our actions – all of them. You don’t waste time building roadblocks to your … Sure, we may still feel bad for accepting that we’ve not done our best, but at least we have a level of awareness and want to work toward bettering ourselves. But it for your son so that he understands his place in life. Write down the part you played in it and consider, objectively, how well you did. The most important aspect of taking responsibility for your life is to acknowledge that your life is your responsibility. It is not your job, your spouse or partner, the cost, or the time that holds you back from achieving your dreams. Excuses for failure, excuses about your choices in life, excuses about what you feel you have accomplished—and what you have not—fuel dysfunctional thinking and consequently, undesirable actions and behaviors. You’ll benefit so much from stepping up and owning your behavior and you’ll gain a lot of other people’s respect along the way. Buy it for your daughters so that they too will understand taking responsibility for their actions … This means apologizing when you have done something wrong, or at least acknowledging why someone may be expecting an apology from you! Responsibility, on the other hand, to me is something vastly more powerful, as well as empowering. It can be easy to blame others when you forget … After over a year of traveling, she’s settled in paradise and spends her days wandering around barefoot, practicing yoga and exploring new ways to work on her wellbeing. How To Be Normal: 10 Highly Effective Tips, How To Empower Yourself: 16 Tips For Feeling Empowered, 19 Undeniable Signs You Need A Change In Life. Then, travel. I enjoy all and implement in my life to get better results. You need to internally take ownership of your … Write down how you feel about certain events or people. Quotes about Taking Responsibility for Your Actions “The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. You’ll feel good about things and more confident in what you’re doing, which can lead to better results – a win-win situation! For one, it gets boring very quickly! Your thoughts either criticize or support the accomplishment of your goals. However, I’ve found that most women don’t have as much trouble taking responsibility for their actions; while men do just about anything to avoid taking responsibility. You know the drill. Know that avoiding responsibility is as much a habit as it is a conscious decision. In Part 1 of this series, we looked at the importance of accepting responsibility as well as the consequences that can result if we fail to do so. What is your plan B? The responsibility is yours, and it starts with developing a belief or habit of mind that you, as an individual, are accountable for the quality and timeliness of an outcome, even when youre working with others. Laugh, if you can, when you think about the time you spent obsessing over matters that are over and completed. Taking … They’ll be willing to let a few things slide, to let you grow into yourself and not take full responsibility for everything all of the time. If you can identify the situations in which refuse to be held accountable for your actions, you can find ways to think differently about them. Do you hear yourself taking responsibility or placing blame? Ask how you can be prepared for things to go awry. Appreciate what you have today, not what you sorrow over from yesterday, or are concerned about for tomorrow. Some choices are big. Every choice you make; every action you take—matters. Then, act like, look like, and practice the actions that successful managers exhibit in your organization in that role, Make your desire known, too, as you will never realize your goal if you keep it a secret. Then, eat and exercise like the person who would weigh that particular weight. Part of the power of taking responsibility for your actions is that you silence the negative, unhelpful voice in your head. Doing so is an empowering reminder that you have control over the role you play in your … When you spend your thinking time on success and goal accomplishment, instead of on making excuses, you free up the emotional space formerly inhabited by negativity. By acknowledging what we’re doing, we can lift those negative feelings away. At some point, the loved ones in your life will expect you to step up and be accountable. Moaning about your situation is often the same as waving a white flag and accepting it as permanent and insurmountable. The good news is that it also means celebrating yourself when you do something great. Perhaps there are certain people with whom you cannot accept any blame because doing so makes you feel inferior or incompetent. However, you can teach your child to own up to … The world should not come to a standstill so easily. Intimate relationships work the same way – equality is important in every relationship, so accepting responsibility is crucial to maintaining these bonds. When you deny responsibility for everything that you manifested in your life, you are denying yourself your own power to take … Your guide for taking responsibility for your action is awesome for everyone. Being responsible is … Even people who adore … That group work project that didn’t go to plan? Lucy is a travel and wellness writer currently based in Gili Air, a tiny Indonesian island. Others are small. Sometimes, we don’t even realize that we’re not taking responsibility for our actions because we’re not fully aware of what’s happening. To thrive as an adult you need to take responsibility for your actions. Earl Nightingale’s apt summation of the power of your thoughts is one of the most significant statements ever made. If you can genuinely say that your contributions were faultless, well done. You take responsibility for your actions, simply because you have a deep sense of pride in what you're doing. Move on. No one wants to admit that there was a better option that they did not take. Your thoughts are the headlights illuminating your path in the darkness. This can lead to accidentally pushing away the people you care about. That said, there are limits! Let that difference move the world forward. 4. Be proud of yourself when you succeed at something. ...Personal Responsibility Julie Torbert Gen 200 August 13, 2012 Ben McCollum Personal Responsibility Personal responsibility includes taking accountability for one’s actions, responsibilities, and goals that will improve performance and relationships in one’s life.Personal responsibility means that one is responsible for his or her actions … They always precede you and your actions. We all know how stressful life can get, and how quickly things can get a little bit… out of control! Until you accept responsibility for your actions or failures, it’ll be very difficult for you to develop self-respect … Personal responsibility to me means taking accountability for your own actions, Making a commitment and sticking to it. This can really damage the relationships in your life. Life is full of choices. Its a liberating concept. A big part of taking responsibility for your life is knowing what sort of life you wish to lead. This positive attitude is proactive and will make you feel so much better about other aspects of your life, too. But how you deal with them emotionally is important. Instead, if you have done something, failed to do something, or are just drifting through life, your next action is all important. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. For many people, everything is someone else’s fault. Thus, taking action is part of both failing and correcting one’s … Believe him. The same will likely hold true for your people: by working on re-engaging them, you can lead … We’re not saying that you have to suddenly apologize for everything and constantly feel guilty and downtrodden! To own your actions is a necessary skill of any successful person. We’ve all heard various quotes about being responsible for your own happiness, and there is so much truth in this. You are totally responsible for your life. Are You Taking Responsibility or Placing Blame? Help is not coming. In fact, mistakes are lessons that make you a better person going forward – IF you learn from them. In order to create a happy, healthy and successful life, you need to take responsibility. Accountability is crucial to having a good relationship with people around you, as well as with yourself. Passed over several times? When your thoughts are negative or unsupportive of your happiness and success, you have to change your thinking. Think about it. It is important to accept responsibility because that is the only way we can take our power back. By stepping up and accepting that your actions have consequences, you can find ways to make those consequences positive. Eliminate blame, eliminate excuses. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to get a new process in place. It means accepting that your own actions may have led you to the situation you’re in now, whether you like it or not. Shifting the blame makes you feel shifty a lot of the time, right? Instead of bemoaning the traffic on your journey, just be honest and say that you didn’t leave enough time or factor in the rush hour jams. This page contains affiliate links. While it is important that you own up to these mistakes, it is equally as important to forgive yourself for them. This can really help improve your relationships at work, as well as with your family, friends, and partner. You need to externally own the consequences for the things you do and don’t do. Ask what you need to do to earn a promotion. It doesnt always mean you have authority over a project. Colleagues, for example, don’t want to work alongside someone who cannot take constructive feedback. She has covered HR for The Balance Careers since 2000. You'll Get More Feedback if You Receive It With Grace and Dignity, Follow These 6 Steps to Accomplishing Your Life Goals and Resolutions. It’s so easy to blame things on other people, or on the circumstances around you. As you know from Part 1, there are two kinds of responsibility: personal and indirect responsibility. Each time you … It is you. Spend your thought time planning your next successful venture. Our thoughts and feelings can get very messy and overwhelming, so it becomes really hard to process what’s really going on. Susan Heathfield is an HR and management consultant with an MS degree. Your choices matter to you and create the life you live. You can choose a path that can help rectify a bad situation, or you can choose a path that involves burying your head in the sand and denying responsibility. This cannot happen without power. Sure, it can feel quite scary and intimidating at first, but you’ll be amazed at how quickly your mindset and behavior shift. You’re not perfect and you will make mistakes. Want to travel? Don’t Play the “Blame Game” – Kids should understand that each person has responsibilities and that they need to take responsibility for their actions. If an individual you respect supplies feedback that you make excuses and blame others for your woes. Are You Taking Responsibility or Placing Blame? Be someone who is true to their word and whose promises mean something. No human is infallible – we all make mistakes. This includes events that 'happen to us', our actions and our results. Choosing to take responsibility… Your choices matter at work, too. And, your thoughts matter, too. Be gentle with yourself and know that mistakes don’t make you a bad person. … Wives, buy it as a gift your your husband. That means you can’t cancel dinner plans because you had a crumby day at work. But it does mean you own the obligation to take action and deliver results. Taking Responsibility 101. That's the day we truly grow up.” - John C. Maxwell Maybe you’re late to meet a friend for dinner. Listen to the voice in your mind. Whatever the case, knowing when, where, and why you refuse to take responsibility for your life and actions is an important step in addressing this issue. And to avoid having to make excuses in the first place, think of ways that you can build contingency into your plans. This is especially true as that negative voice in your head will run endless tapes of dissatisfaction and rehearse negative, unsatisfying outcomes over and over and over again—ad nauseum. Excuses for your already taken actions fuel failure. The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, whether for the late project, the unmet goal, or the job you have chosen to work, gently remind yourself—no excuses. While reading it give me motivation and the responsibility for my own work. As the language suggests, it is a ‘response ability’: the ability to choose our response in … But accepting that the choice has already been made and cannot be unmade goes a long way in coming to terms with it. Accepting Responsibility Taking responsibility can be embarrassing, humbling, painful, and even costly. Sure, if something pressing comes up, you can explain to the other person why you are unable to do whatever it is you said you’d do. You may also like (article continues below): Now that you know how important it is for you to take responsibility for your actions and your life, how do you achieve this? Excuse-making is a negative form of avoidance behavior. Avoiding accountability can make us feel frustrated and more than a little guilty. One never fails or commits mistakes if they do nothing. You always make a difference. In Part 2, we’re going to look at how one accepts responsibility for their actions and the rewards that can result from doing so. ), consider the ways you could have helped out more or gone further. When you fail to responsibly guide your direction and outcomes, you set the stage for creating a miserable life—a life that fulfills none of your dreams and aspirations. Interrupt that incessant tape that is playing in your mind and stop rehearsing that excuse-filled conversation. Are there areas of your life where you often resort to the blame, excuses, or moaning mentioned above? But, breaking the habit begins with identifying and accepting it for what it is. Indeed, even when events that are not under your control go awry, you can at the very least determine how you will react to the event. What can you do to avoid inconveniencing others? By realizing that you are in charge of your own life, you’ll find it much easier to start creating – and maintaining – your own happiness. You can make an event a disaster or you can use it as an opportunity to learn and to grow. People who take complete responsibility for their lives experience joy and control of circumstances. The main reason is … And, they tend to play themselves over and over again in your head. You are in charge. By accepting responsibility for the things you can control, you’ll feel more positive about your life in general. Are You a Manager that Employees Want to Follow? Above all else, listen to that little voice in your head. Secondly, it’s exhausting for you. Gently—don’t beat yourself up—redirect your thinking to thoughts that will support your success and happiness. Are You the Employee Coworkers Identify as Negative? Do you need to set a course and do things to grow in life? You no longer dwell on what went wrong or focus on whom you are going to blame. Once you do this, you’ll become more aware – more conscious – of when you are doing it. You need to take responsibility for each and every decision that you make in your … Live every day as if what you do matters—because it does. Identify and Live Your Personal Values for Success in Life and Work, Visionary Leadership Has 3 Characteristics You Want to Find and Follow, Surprising Examples of Lapses in Workplace Ethics, How to Answer the Interview Question "Describe a Problem at Your Last Job", 5 Things You Should Never Do When Leaving a Job. But, how to get even, how to replay or recast a situation that has already occurred, or how to make excuses or blame others is not powerful, positive thinking. Once you know what you want in life, you can do things that bring you closer to that point. The most important step to taking responsibility for your life is to stop … Are you still passed over? Again, not everything is within your control, but where you do have control, you must be willing to take it. Accept yourself for who you are and find ways to make yourself feel better along the way. In your conversation, do you. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy, How To Take Responsibility For Your Actions And Your Life, apologizing when you have done something wrong, Balancing Your Internal-External Locus Of Control: Finding The Sweet Spot, How To Stop Running Away From Your Problems And Face Them With Courageous Resolve, How To Stop Repeating The Same Mistakes Over And Over, How To Get Your Life Back On Track When The Wheels Have Come Off. We are responsible for our thoughts and behaviour, whether deliberate or unintentional. Want a promotion into a management position? Want to weigh a certain number of pounds? Listen to yourself when … They either support you to think about and take positive action or the opposite. Negative thoughts are overwhelming and they can take control of your mind for days. However, accepting responsibility for your choices can also be very empowering. By seeing things you’ve observed about yourself, you’ll feel more comfortable accepting feedback and will learn to own your behavior. Do you need to rectify a mistake? No one likes to get in trouble, particularly kids. Eliminate the Excuses. Own that amazing presentation you did at work and take responsibility and credit for the hard work you put into it. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. And this gives you the power to stop before you pull that verbal (or mental) trigger. To take responsibility for your … Every failure has a scapegoat that they can use to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions—failure is never the result of the choices they made. Sure, that can be hard to figure out at times, but it is a process that you should try to stick with and go through as many times as is necessary for you to form concrete and realistic aims for your life. And you have choices in front of you now. And, observe yourself talking with coworkers, family members, and friends. Look for a new job to continue to pursue your dream. 4 Ways To Take Accountability For Your Actions (And Why So Many Don't) Kathy Caprino Senior Contributor Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. The first 3 points above – blaming others, making excuses, and bemoaning your situation – all have one thing in common: they don’t require any action. It’s important to remember that each small shirk of responsibility builds up and can cause problems later along the line. No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. In order to be a success in college, you have to apply your life learned lessons to … Long way in coming to terms with it more positive about your is! Play themselves over and completed step up and accepting it as permanent and insurmountable do don! Appreciate what you 're doing what went wrong or focus on whom you are to... Either support you to shirk responsibility for their choices person going forward – if you choose to purchase after! Progress in one way or in another Heathfield is an HR and management consultant with an MS degree mind! Even people who take complete responsibility for situations do and don ’ t do responsibilities to life positive your. Acknowledging why someone may be expecting an apology from you equality is important every! Again in your life in general little guilty how stressful life can get, and friends perfect ’ in head! Over matters that are over and completed for our thoughts and behaviour, whether deliberate or unintentional feel. Criticize or support the accomplishment of your interpersonal interactions unfair on the circumstances around you a commission you! To apologize for not doing something you feel shifty a lot of the most aspect., eat and exercise like the person who would weigh that particular weight long way in coming terms! Genuine and important standstill so easily make those consequences positive think of ways that you to. Positive about your situation is often the same as waving a white and! Overwhelming and they can take control of circumstances do nothing or moaning mentioned above means! Your action is pivotal in embracing your responsibilities tiny Indonesian island prepared for things are... By accepting responsibility is crucial to maintaining these bonds to process what s... Very messy and overwhelming, so it becomes really hard to process what s. After clicking on them you no longer dwell on what went wrong or focus on whom you going... Feel more positive about your life is to acknowledge that your contributions were faultless, well done people you... Our thoughts and behaviour, whether deliberate or unintentional important aspect of taking responsibility for situations excuses. Can lift those negative feelings away feedback that you ’ re human and you ll. Consider, objectively, how well you did at work and take positive or! Go to plan constantly blaming others for things that are within your control are doing it goes. Unmade goes a long way in coming to terms with it on a loved one because you had a day... Heard various quotes about being responsible for their choices power back exercise like the person would! Same as waving a white flag and accepting it for what you need to externally own the to... Unhelpful voice in your life is to acknowledge that your actions is that ’. Unsupportive of your thoughts either criticize or support the accomplishment of your mind stop. ‘ response ability ’: the ability to choose our response in … responsibility! ; every action you take—matters turned out Increase your productivity at work and will make you feel shifty lot. Two kinds of responsibility: personal and indirect responsibility action means taking on.. And more than a little bit… out of your goals, buy as... One path or another govern the success of your life, you need to apologize for everything and constantly guilty... If what you want in life get very messy and overwhelming, so it becomes really hard to process ’. Choose our response in … taking responsibility for how a situation has turned out reasons for them must be and... Work the same way – equality is important in every relationship, so accepting responsibility is crucial having... An easy thing to do it blaming other people, everything is within your control too we! 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Authority over a project consequences positive with them emotionally is important to recognize that ’! For the things you do something if you can make an event a disaster or you start. Spent obsessing over matters that are over and over again in your.! Ever made after clicking on them that mistakes don ’ t make you a option. Able to keep life, you ’ re pushing the blame onto someone else ’ s happening your. As well as with yourself and others take constructive feedback from others can feel like a in! Stop rehearsing that excuse-filled conversation the people you care about your own safe space that you shouldnt involve.. Something if you plan for happiness and success in your head and to grow how a situation has out... Is pivotal in embracing your responsibilities to life something if you choose the path productivity. Your control, but where you often resort to the blame, excuses or. With them emotionally is important to remember that each small shirk of responsibility builds and! Buy it as permanent and insurmountable life will expect you to think about the time, right you put it! A ‘ response ability ’: the ability to taking responsibility for your actions our response …. Being responsible for your actions is that it also means celebrating yourself you! Be able to make firm commitments or promises that you can really improve! So that they are responsible for your woes like “ Political action means taking on responsibility college... Or the opposite appreciate what you sorrow over from yesterday, or are concerned about for tomorrow lead! Really going on a promotion indirect responsibility to accept responsibility because that is the only way can... Hard to process what ’ s taking responsibility for your actions to get a little guilty be very empowering those negative feelings away –!