funniest toxic things to say

I dont have any trash to take out today, but I volunteer you as tribute. Louie Armstrong would have never released What a Wonderful World had he met you. Your brain is working overtime today. Log in. Location: 16905 Jowler Creek Road, 64079. If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. You look so good. It doesn't matter what gender you are, butts are generally a huge weakness for everyone! Therere many pessimists who got that way by investing in an optimist. Nazi (like Grammar Nazi or Feminazi), 29. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. If youre waiting for me to start care, I hope you brought something for eating, because its gonna be a long time. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice. I wanted to live life without many regrets. There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me. 14 Most Toxic Things Women Have Said To Men - BuzzFeed Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. The TikTok itself is pretty basic, showing Mason and a friend sucking soda with the words, "Girls if you need toxic things to say to boys check the comments" hovering above them. Im on a seafood diet. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. Here are the best insults to use on your worst enemies, or more importantly, your best friends: I thought of you today. Thank you for calling! We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately weve been married for 10 years. your so dumb if we put you in a competition vs a baby the baby will win, Okay, my fatness can be fixed but your ugliness can't. I love that our easygoing friendship fits perfectly with my laziness. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. Ditch the outfit. With all those years of wisdom, youd think you would have more wrinkles by now. Cherry Blossoms In . A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. When playing online, not everything is going to go your way. I will slap you so hard even Google wont be able to find you. Your talking to me? Thats your parents job. I've never heard that particular insult before. Unfortunately, the blueprints are messy, written in Mandarin, and waterlogged beyond all recognition. But friends like you lie on the floor with us and laugh our butts off together. I forgive you because holding a grudge is like letting someone live and rent free in your head. If you order pizza tonight, I am at your service, baby! Laughter is an essential people skill. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. The words mentally retarded were once commonly used to refer to people with a below-average IQ, either because of a congenital condition like Down Syndrome or because of a brain injury. #6: "Sorry You Feel that Way. thesaurus. When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. Funny Quotes to Make A Girl Smile When a Girl is Sad: A smile is a reflection of her love that entails many things in your relationship. Maybe youll find your brain back there. I understand everything you said. You must have been born on a highway. Its the sound of me not caring. Any Emoji. Because that's where most MISTAKES and ACCIDENTS are made. You look so pretty. Even if you arent the funniest person around, you can try some of these silly one-liners or fun pick-up lines to make a girl laugh. If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Im sure youre gonna like these roasting lines because theyre brutal yet witty.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_11',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); These are the most brutal roasts youll ever find. If you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher. Youre a conversation starter. But theres nothing quite like LOLing when your friend sends you a random midday text with something hilarious. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. It will make you appear strong. Send Hahahaha and when they respond what, text back Oh I was laughing because I thought your thumbs fell off and you couldnt text anyone back. phrases. Hold still. Here are a few of the best on the internet: Use the savage quotes below in order to show others that you are more intelligent than they are: The quotes below are perfect for showing someone you can handle yourself in a fight: When someone insults you, dont be afraid to use the comebacks below to insult them right back: These insults are brutal, but theyre also hilarious. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Try this: Call your friend and let them know you cant talk right now. Thats your parents job. Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. The world is beautiful! Im still trying to figure out yours. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. What is the funniest "toxic" thing someone has said to you? Your friends would be amused.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); If you like these savage roasts, youll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. But instead of making us feel better, those offensive words and expressions, whenever they come to mind, only serve to keep us angry or on the defensive, prolonging the pain and keeping us stuck in the past. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. Everything is beautiful! The fact that someone wakes up to your face in the morning should be alarming. Roses r red, violets r blue, a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Your crazy is showing. In the land of the witless, you would be king. you look like a gorilla just came out of town riding on a pony, I think i'll need an extra punch to get through all those layers, 50% of your beauty can be fixed with a garbage bag over your head, Ur the reason why god created the middles finger, I was hoping to challenge you to a battle of wits but i see u r unarmed, Roses r red violets r blue god made me pretty what happened to u, Where are u I can only see plastic in front of me. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. 13. Now that you know 31 words and expressions that everyone should avoid, I bet you can think of others you could add to the list. 15 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Leave People Speechless Avoid jokes about sensitive or taboo topics and dont take it personally if someone doesnt think youre funny. Thanks! sentences. Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? Toxic Things Women Say To Men - BuzzFeed Any good comebacks to toxic players? - Overwatch Forums You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Wow, your maker really didnt waste time giving you a personality, huh? This expression is used most often by males who think that a womans appearance is worth more to her than respect for her intelligence and autonomy. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. Im going to call on someone else. I thought of you today. Its scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. Im so glad we have brown cows, otherwise, there wouldnt be any chocolate milk. Lists. Youre more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Why can't you just do it my way?" Ill know youre my best friend if you immediately delete my internet history after I die. If youve experienced that yourself, you probably dont wish it on anyone else. Im visualizing duck tape over your mouth. Thanks for helping me understand that. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Weve compiled a list of 31 offensive or controversial words or expressions that are best avoided even if youre only kidding.. Related: Why People Are So Mean And How To Deal With Them. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Watching You Smiling, Is The Best view For My Eyes. The Definitive Guide to Facial Expressions, Funny Things to Say on a Valentine's Card, Funny Things to Say When Someone Doesn't Text Back, Random Things to Say and Weird Things to Say, Key Takeaways: Make People Laugh by Saying Funny Things. If you cant laugh at yourself, I can help you out. No wonder your mom has such a big mouth, you have one the size of a whole house. 18 Valorant Memes Too Funny For Words. 100 Funny Things To Say - Parade: Entertainment, Recipes, Health, Life Im busy right now, can I ignore you another time? You're so ugly that god had to look away. Need some hilarious things to say via text or IRL? I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. Patience is a virtue, but I dont want to wait. I consider you something a vulture would eat. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. I thought of you today. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Lasts longer in bed, too. Im glad to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. It sounds uncaring. In your case, theyre nothing. I didnt change. What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Have a nice day. i have 5 fingers, each one resembles a person. Youre a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Because youre the only 10 I see. Every cloud has a silver lining. "You're in my way." 22. I forgot the world revolves around you. I must have been imagining things. Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. Funny Things To Say A Girl - 100+ Ideas To Make Her Yours - The Life Virtue Dont feel bad. Their apparent need for drama is their way of crying out for attention to something that has been ignored for too long. Check your lipstick before you come for me. Naomi Smalls, If you want anything said, ask a man. Your breath is the reason for climate change. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. CRY YOURSELF A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!!! Unfortunately, I dont have any resolutions to make since Im already perfect. I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm. Continue the joke, please. Introverted does not mean antisocial. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. You should try it sometime. I feel so sorry for your parents. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. Eleanor . Brains arent everything. You and your prents are the ultimate example of two wrongs dont make a right. Whered you get your outfits, girl, American Apparently Not? Trixie Mattel. And thats the best compliment I can give. Decidedly more personal than You know what I hate? this immediately puts the other person on the defensive. Happy Valentines Day, cutie! I would never date you. Instead of doing that, we could just give the other person the benefit of the doubt and kindly offer them a brief summary of the story behind the point were trying to make. Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Im just smarter than you. Are You a Toxic Gamer? 9 Ways You Can Tell - MUO I wanted you to know its not my birthday yet, my birthday is [ ]. His name is Dudley. 90% of your beauty could be removed with a Kleenex. Youre living proof its possible to live without a brain. You can also use them with success anywhere else. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of Natural Disasters.. After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. "It's all in your head." 26. Ive never had many life goals. One of the most toxic phrases you will hear from your partner, especially when your emotions are high, is the advice to let it go. Dont worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. Can we go to the zoo? In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. This funny discord TTS message has got you covered to have a good laugh. They both run at the first sign of emotion. Ill marry your brother just to be in your family. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? have you ever considered not trying to be an idiot? 30. For your B-day, I wanted to give you something that was funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. Kourtney Kardashian. Those born with dwarfism or with any condition that limits their physical stature do not, as a rule, choose to be called midgets..