Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. Enjoy! I think the life cycle is all backwards. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Thank you! var cookiePair = cookie.split('='); And armbands. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. They own all the important land. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times In America, anyone can become president. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. a[a9] = { googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. The planet is fine. //]]> If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. This is the best we can do folks. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. We havent tried that for a while. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. " Forget the politicians. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. Enjoy! } var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . }); He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. And the supreme arrogance? "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. Pictures. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . This is what we have to offer. That's the problem. 4. Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. setDisplayBids: function() {}, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com Religion class was always an easy class. } Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. The planet is fine. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. } I look at war a little. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. All rights reserved. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. By the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", But he loves you. Your dog thinks you're a god. We hope these George Carlin quotes on life, religion and government will make you smile as well as share some important facts with you. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are And fight songs. Did you enjoy this article? I think people should be allowed to do what they want. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? }; They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? This made him outstanding. George Carlin. [CDATA[ googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. ! Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. I think that speaks for itself. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout Well, we know what they want. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; A Death! Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas.